diving in!

I am now resting comfortably on the other side of my first three days of internship training, and I don't even think I can tell you how exciting this week has been for me. I don't even think I realized how big this was to me. I began the whole crazy grad school process in the spring of 2004, and it was then the idea of counseling on a college campus was first planted in my mind. Now, THREE years later, a completely different me is actually seeing the realization of this idea. God has brought about some tremendous changes in me in the last three years, and maybe these changes are noticeable to only me and a few people close to me. But what stands out most to me is God's faithfulness - even and especially in the midst of my doubting, his wisdom in bringing me through the valleys rather than across smooth plains, his goodness, his provision, his patience. I am thankful for these moments in my faith journey where the truth that Scripture promises becomes a tangible entity I can see in my own life circumstances, and not mere words to comfort me through life's ups and downs. Not that Scripture is ever "mere words".

2 Thessalonians 1:11 says "With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God would count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith." I read this verse right before beginning classes in the MFT program, and felt it jump out to me in a way that I felt this verse was for me personally. Things didn't turn out the way that I expected; I certainly did not feel that my good purposes or acts prompted by faith were fulfilled. But today I was reminded that answers to prayer don't come overnight or instantaneously. Promises are not fulfilled in one big action or in the way that is anticipated or planned. And goodness, I'm only three days in and literally hundreds of hours away from a degree; it's not like I'm done or have arrived at my destination. And, I am likely in for some pretty tough challenges and may have to change course again. But there is something in these words for me, they keep surfacing and resurfacing, and the more I meditate on these, the more truth I see. I'm overcome with gratitude that God has called me his own. And now I'm just rambling, but you just don't understand how great the water has felt and how exciting it was to be able to dive in to this adventure.

a trusting stranger

The world is still a friendly place! I went to A Good Locksmith today to have a duplicate of our mailbox key made (yes, it did take us two months), and when I pulled out my credit card to pay, the gentleman told me that they only accept cash. Well, I NEVER carry cash on me, so I was about to tell him that I would have to come back, when he says to just take the keys that he had already made, and when I have time, to come back with the $4 I owe. Ha! I was so surprised, but what a blessing this man is. And, for those of you wondering, I made a special trip to get cash and dropped it by the store on my way back to work. I was afraid I would just forget! What a nice bright spot in my day.

ready, set, go!

I am currently gearing up for my crazy, busy fall to start! I just came off a week of vacation, which was admittedly full but also very refreshing. Unfortunately, it also involved my first ever car accident. From how much that shook me up, you'd think it was a head on collision cruisin' down the highway, but no, thankfully it was only a little parking lot crunch. However, the shock of that event was evened out by time spent with old and new friends, another painting project, a day at Cannon Beach, and a weekend at the island with college friends (otherwise known as Puget Island, which is in the Columbia River, not far from the tiny little town of Cathlamet). It was hard to get up when my alarm went off this morning! My system is reeling. This week I go straight into work and INTERNSHIP!! I can't believe that after almost two years of classes, I finally get to see if this is something I really do enjoy. I have been mostly excited, intermixed with a few spurts of nervousness. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday of this week I will be at the college's freshman orientation activities and doing training with my supervisor and the other interns. Next week, I could potentially begin seeing clients, depending on if students some into the counseling center. Clients!! I am expecting that Wednesday morning (my first day of training), my emotions will quickly sky rocket to near-panic. Pray for me...

an eternal perspective

This morning I found out that a friend from our old church in Bellevue is dealing with cancer. Ironically I found out through facebook, which I barely ever look at - I created an account years ago on a whim and have never taken the time to get into it. But I'm so glad that this news made it to me.

My friend's name is Ben. He and his wife, Lisa, have been married 2 years and both are in their mid-twenties. Ben found out in May of this year that he has a very rare and aggressive form of abdominal cancer, that generally does not respond well to chemo treatments. Still, since May he has been undergoing rounds of chemo; I think he is on his 5th of 7 total rounds, if I followed correctly. I've spent some time today (too much time, I admit) reading Ben's blog: http://802heaven.analogcafe.net/.

Here is the story of a man after God's own heart. I'm brought to tears reading it; not just by the tragic circumstances that these friends are facing, but by the grace and humility I read in every word written. Ben says, "God has called me out of my "normal" life and presented me with a chance to get to know him better." I don't think anything I can write in reflection to that statement can be more powerful than the statement in and of itself. If you read more of his blog, you hear their sorrow, their discouragement, their confusion. But you also see their faith, their love for God, their humility, and their joy. You see two individuals clinging to God through his Word, prayer and fellowship with other Christians. And when I say clinging - I mean clinging. Not the way I cling to God when I get stressed about work and school or feel sad about missing my friends. But clinging to God like someone hanging by a thin rope on the edge of the Grand Canyon. It's strange to me that I just recently posted on celebrating life in the midst of trouble, and here is a perfect living example that it is possible.

the dee dah day dance

I recently finished a class called Prayer and Other Key Disciplines. One of the disciplines we learned about was celebration; taking moments throughout the day to celebrate life and experience joy. We read The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg (which I highly recommend). In it, Ortberg describes the antics of his young daughter after bath time. She would climb out of the tub, but instead of rushing for the warm towel extended to her, would run in circles, completely naked, singing her own little made up song, "dee dah day, dee dah day." I can just picture this little girl reveling in the joy of bath time, soaking up the moment without a care in the world. As an adult, I might have more worries than a small child, but I want to see the simple things and experience joy, too; do my own little dee dah day dance - whatever that might look like. :) I dread the thought of growing into a depressed cranky old woman who lets the pressures of life get her down permanently. Oh, please Lord- let my desire for joy despite the pressures of life not be a naive wishful thought but a reality througout my lifetime.

I am reminded that I serve a God of compassion and joy, whose mercies are new every morning. Ortberg says that God's essential nature is that of joy, and I just love that idea. Yes, sovereign; yes, kingly; yes, holy and righteous and just. But also joy. I am also reminded that joy is not the absence of sorrow. Happiness may only exist in the absence of sorrow, but joy - joy goes beyond happiness. Joy is something deep, something lasting, something that I believe comes from God as a gift. It isn't something I can just conjure up on my own. So even though there is pain in my life, and worry and stress, I can still find joy.

So here are some little things that I am taking joy in today:

- the feel of sunshine on my face
- the sound of the wind in the leaves of the trees outside our bedroom
- yogurt mixed with granola and dried cranberries
- nectarines at the peak of ripeness - especially sliced and eaten with cottage cheese
- a husband who makes my tea every morning before work
- the ability to drink in the beauty around me - like our freshly painted living room!
- good music that energizes me - like Rascal Flatts, Alison Krauss, Passion Worship Band, Journey
- friends who continue to love me even when I don't see them as often as I'd like
- Harry Potter (we are enjoying the 7th book very much!)
- laughter, laughter, laughter

What do you take joy in?