learning to love

I've taken to listing to worship music while I walk in the mornings. I know for some this wouldn't qualify as "exercise music", but it is a good time to help me refocus my thoughts on the Lord and music has always helped me to connect with God. This morning I was pondering the song that says, "So let my words be few, Jesus, I am so in love with you." A favorite song, but I started to think about being in love with Jesus. One of the classes I am taking this semester is "learning to love God and others," so I have been thinking a lot about what it means to love God, and how we express that. Our culture today prizes being in love; that warm passionate desire for another. It feels so good to get carried away in this emotion, and there are most definitely times when I do feel that way about God. But to put the concept of love into a more tangible relationship; in marriage, I am learning, there come times when that intense ethereal feeling of love seems to dissipate. Some would say they have "fallen out of love." I might venture we have misunderstood what it means to love another in the first place. Love- the love that lasts- has more to do with an intentional decision and commitment to another person. And, to parallel our love for God, there are most certainly times when I don't have a passion to be with Him or to talk with Him. But my love for God should be deeper than this, underlying that feeling of being in love should be a commitment and a desire to remain in relationship with Him even when I don't feel like it. This probably isn't the first time this realization has hit me (regarding love), but given my mood yesterday, it is good to be reminded that even when I feel crummy, I can still love God and love those in my life who I care about.

And, regarding my mood yesterday, I was reminded by someone that truly truly truly- I am not able, but I am enabled. Such an important distinction, and how easy it is to fall back on self reliance and hard work to get us through life. Whatever Paul meant by the thorn in the flesh, I think that this might be mine- a confidence in self and a forgetfulness of He who makes me strong. Thanks for the reminder. :)