paradox and ambiguity

In group supervision on Monday we discussed the value of ambiguity. Without ambiguity, there is little motivation for decision, action or change. Life is good - or if it is not good, it is at least moving along some trajectory. It's at least easy to pretend that all is going well. But when we experience ambiguity, then we are halted. A fork in the road appears and suddenly things aren't so clear. My tendency with friends or family is to try to smooth the ambiguity out for people ("it's alright", "things will work out", "I'm sure you'll make a good decision"). In doing that, do I rob people of the value of wrestling with tough things? A lot of the time, ambiguity is what brings people in for counseling - a decision needs to be made, there is confusion over an experience, people feel stuck and don't know where to go for help. And people come to a counselor and think, "here is someone who can resolve my ambiguity." (Okay, so they probably don't think those exact words...) And I really want to do this for people! I really want to sweep in and rescue and make things better. But the thing is, it's not about me solving problems for other people. To promote growth in others, I just try to sit back and facilitate the person's process of wrestling with whatever ambiguity has them stuck. I think this is harder for me than trying to jump in and provide answers. I think that this is what God does for us, too, to some extent. When we wrestle with life, we can come to him and there is a safe place for us to rest, but he doesn't give us easy answers. He gives us his Word, His Spirit, and a community of people, but lets us learn to love him via our own struggling and wrestling with life. That must be really hard for God; to see his children embedded in the muck of life and to resist reaching in and rescuing us from all the icky stuff with one swift motion. But he knows that in rescuing us, he's halting our growth. So instead he makes himself available to us, but leaves it up to us to make our own decisions.

What I am currently wrestling with is theology! My theology class is making me think at an entirely new level that I feel unfamiliar with. So many ideas and differing opinions. I am experiencing ambiguity because I am recognizing the many paradoxes that define God; he is both majestic and above all, yet intimately involved with his creation; his Word is both a product of his own initiative, but written via human means; he is both loving and wrathful; he both knows his plans and purposes for creation, but allows himself to be dynamically involved and affected by his creation; and on and on. I think that my hope in wrestling with this ambiguity this semester is not that I will know more about God when I am done with the course in December, but that I will love him more because of what I am wrestling with.