home sweet home

I just returned on Sunday from a lengthy stay in the Seattle area, visiting family and friends. It was great to connect and relax and catch up and be "home". On Friday morning, I took a ferry from the Washington peninsula over to the city. I was reminded that there is just no place on earth as beautiful as the Pacific Northwest. Sorry, Portland- you don't quite compare (yet). The sun was shining, light reflecting on the water, the air smelled of salt, some snow-tipped mountains peaked through the cloud cover that loomed in the distance. Even the city itself sort of sparkles with the surrounding beauty. The Space Needle stood in the midst of the cityscape; a weirdly shaped structure to distinguish Seattle from any other city, but distinctive all the same. I breathed deep and felt the comfort of familiarity that has been so lacking in the past few months here in Portland. I remembered all the right streets to drive on, the same old traffic was to be expected, even the college campus where I used to work seemed unchanged. And of course, interacting with family and old friends was a breath of fresh air. Here, I am known; I don't have to reiterate my life history or current demographics over and over again. Making new friends is WORK! Good work, but still work. I forgot the time and energy that went into my friendships so many years ago. It has been awhile since I have had to start from scratch in meeting people. It was so relaxing to be in a place I know and with people who know me.

But then I was in for a surprise as I returned "home" on Sunday; because as I came into Clark County, I realized that I was anticipating that huge house on the hill overlooking the freeway, with the weird brick castle-like structure that can only be a garage- or a dungeon. And as I came down the street toward our apartment, I counted the blocks, anticipating seeing my husband again after 5 days. So then, what is "home"? It was easy to define as a kid; home was where my parents lived and loved and cared for me. It was even easy after college when David and I settled in the area. But now home seems sort of divided and ambiguous. Maybe others have come to this realization earlier in life, perhaps when they went away to college. But college was only half an hour from "home" for me.

And now I have trite comments running through my mind, like "home is where the heart is." And I also have verses like, "the Son of Man has no where to lay his head." Okay, so all I know is that it is good to be where we are, even though I miss Seattle and everyone there. :)