I went for a long walk this morning, just around the streets in our neighborhood. The sun felt so good! I can hardly believe how it affects my mood; I have more energy, I feel less stressed and more light-hearted. I wonder what it would be like to live in a place like California? I like the rain sometimes, when I can curl up inside with a blanket and some hot tea. But after a few days I start to crave the warmth and light of the sun. I learned last year that you actually soak up vitamin D from being in the sunshine. And, ironically, the ideal hours of the day to get that vitamin D are between 11 and 2 (I think), which are also the exact hours that they tell you to stay out of the sun because it's rays are most harmful then. Huh.
I also recently learned that there was a study done which reported that only 7% of communication was attributed to the actual words spoken. 93% of communication was attributed to other elements, such as tone of voice, facial cues, and other non-verbal behaviors. Surprising? We spend so much time thinking of what to say, and it's such a small part of what we end up communicating to people.
Related to communication, I've been challenged lately to spend more time just listening, without searching for a response while the other person is talking, or letting my mind wander, but just listening and taking in the story. In our culture, we really spend very little time listening to one another. But who doesn't crave that time with a good friend over a steamy latte, where you can just pour out all that is on your heart? What a privilege to be the person who just gets to sit and listen to her. I read recently (and I am sorry, I can't find the actual quote), that you should listen with the ears of God so that you can speak the words of God. Seems like a pretty decent principle. I just finished reading Job for my Old Testament class, and his friends sure had a lot to say... and very little wisdom to guide them.
A final note: "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart" (Proverbs 3:3).
2 comments:
Looks like you're using your blog like a diary. Not a bad idea. I've often thought that a great advantage of journeling is simply to bring to the surface and crystalize the random train of thought that is always going on in the mind. In other words get clear on what one is thinking or feeling in the moment.
So, if 93% of verbal communication is elements apart from the spoken words, what is lost in e-mail communication? Is it as deep and meaningful as true verbal communication when one is really there to hear?
Maybe this e-mail communication makes up for the lost non-verbal stuff because as I write I'm more clear and concise in what I want to say and when you read you are more likely to really pay attention to the words because there is less to distract you.
Thanks for the words of reminder about truly paying attention. Seems I've been told that one reason therapy is so valuable is because maybe for the first time someone is really listening to anothers pain or confusion. I've heard many stories about successful therapy sessions where the therapist never said anything, the client solved his/her own problem because someone truly listened and was quiet enough to allow the client to work through his/her own problem to a good conclusion. So maybe part of the art of therapy is becoming a compassionate listener, able to hear anything the client has to say without judgement.
Love you bunches!
Papa
I am pretty sure that break down is in relation to verbal communication only. It doesn't apply to written communication- it's a whole different ball game. I'm sure elements of communication are lost in written communication, but the same breakdown and criteria don't apply.
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